Overfishing Brings Crab Stick To Near Extinction

A reluctance to accept sustainable fishing practices has nearly driven the Crab Stick to extinction. Reports state that the cylindrical creatures, roughly 5” long, have all but disappeared from their indigenous waters. “It truly is a sign of the times,” states Dr. Jonathan Maki of UCLA. “The American appetite for these creatures has all but driven them off the face of the planet…if only people had more refined palates.” Researchers hypothesize that if Americans were to only take a more realistic and honest approach to sushi and seafood salad, then perhaps the Crab Stick can be brought back into acceptable numbers. “Take a look at the Filet-O-Fish,” Maki adds, “Once the American public realized how putrid they are, they’ve returned to almost bountiful numbers in the North Atlantic. Another species saved, albeit one with an awful taste.”